Thursday, November 11, 2010

Make a Statement

Every decision, every word and every action we make or say, makes a statement.

What clothes we put on to go to work makes a statement. Its says, "I care about my job, my co-workers" and "I take myself seriously." What we put on says "I am a professional." Or we can make the statement "I got home late last night and was a little hungover this morning, couldn't wake up early enough to shave" or "breakfast with you isn't important enough to put on a fresh pair of jeans."

When we pass the stranger on the street, whether we say "hi" makes a statement.

When we see that girl we don't like but she looks really cute, whether we say "You look really nice" or "I love your shirt, where did you get it?" makes a huge statement. That statement says, 'I am confident enough in myself to make your flame grow brighter."

When our best friend starts finding other friends we can make a statement. We can make several statements actually. We can say "These new friends of yours sound fabulous, I'd love to meet them sometime!" Or, we could say "You're spending an awful lot of time with those people lately, you're changing. You quit drinking since you started hanging out with them, what's up with that?"

I have a writer friend. She had a bad day. In the midst of her bad day she sent me an email. The email said "I just want you to know that when (not if) your book is published you're going to be big. So big. And I am so proud to be your friend." I re-read that email many times. It amazed me that someone could be so selfless, to have a bad day, have many things on her mind and yet, have the confidence and support and compassion to send me this email. She knew I needed to hear it. That is a big statement.

I challenge you, to make a big statement. Forgive the unforgivable. Love the unlovable. Pray for the person you least want to pray for. Complement her when you can't stand her. Say 'hello' when they aren't looking.

I've learned recently when someone is hurting me, to see them as a victim instead of a perp. (My therapist's idea. It works.) I promise you, by seeing the bully as a victim instead of a perp, you will feel sorry for them. You will see they are not perfect and have issues of their own that don't have anything to do with you. Make a statement. Forgive her, understand her and accept her for the imperfect person she is.

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