Woah hormones...

The obvious distractions aside, you know what the really difficult thing about menopause is? The *#(&*(& hormones!!! Its horrible! I'm supposed to change my estrogen patch on set days throughout the week. I forgot to take a patch out of town with me recently and you would've thought I turned into Sybil (for those of you new to this world Sybil was the first person diagnosed with multiple personality disorder in the 1970's). It was horrible. I cried more than I have in a long time, gave my husband a hard time about trivial issues and felt like the world was coming to an end.

That, my friends, is one of the most difficult things about menopause; feeling like I'm going crazy when I don't have a hormone patch to change. My girlfriends and relatives of the same age are thinking about breast-feeding and fertility issues, maybe losing weight, training for a marathon, not hormones. So I had my little 5-minute pity party and tried to get over it.

Then, I woke up this morning. It was probably the 115th-120th morning I've woken up feeling like I'd done a dance marathon the day before. Problem is, there was no dance marathon yesterday. It doesn't matter if I do anything, I wake up sore more than half the time.

Frequently when standing up after sitting for a long time, I have to get all the kinks out, its like I'm 90 ($*&* years old and I hate it.

My doctor says these are all issues we have to work out with my hormone levels. I think its horseshit that I literally have the body of a 60 year-old. When I say it, I'm not exaggerating or being funny, I literally have the body of a 60 year-old.

Lack of estrogen and other hormones for as long as I was without, causes long-term damage and effects to the body. Some of the symptoms of that damage is the fact that my back and hips hurt, my knees crack and sometimes I just feel old and creaky. Like stairs in an old Victorian mansion. Beautiful and aged, yet old and creaky.